I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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