He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
