I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
