Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh god it's open bar.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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