no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
