forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
