how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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