we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
