i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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