I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Small penises have feelings too.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
