Life is so much better after having sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
