Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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