if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
