Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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