Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
