my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
