just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
