I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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