it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
