I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
