Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So much rum. So many feels.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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