If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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