Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
