Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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