and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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