That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
