i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
