i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
