PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
