Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
