I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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