are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
