I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
