Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
