I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Randomize
