Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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