ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
