i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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