whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
