Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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