It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
