if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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