okay pat passed out under dana's car
My cat gives me a boner
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
