Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
