I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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