I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
