Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
