It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
