11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
