Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
