I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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