Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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