you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
