also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
