real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
