I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
